Ari a mixed up ball of emotions
by XxiheartmaxridexX
Summary: Ari's a little timebomb waiting to go off - but wouldn't anybody be if they had his life? Seven years of pain and hurt. Read his thoughts towards Jeb as he dies written as a poem.


I hope you know just how I feel, Dad

I am going to die, that part is clear

But before my last breath, and nearing death

There's somethings I would like you to here.

I don't really blame you, but what can I say?

We all make mistakes Dad, Some of them bad

And several have been made today.

Mistake number one is plain to see

my Mum, your wife died, both you and I cried

but in your eyes the mistake was me.

The date on her grave is the same as my birth

never learnt her name, and love mixes with shame

as I was born as she left the earth.

I never thought you would make my heart break

I trusted you, didn't know what else to do

and that was the second mistake.

I loved to watch that girl, Maximum Ride

I never forgot, she was special – I was not

and for that, Dad, I cried and cried.

She was beautiful, flawless, perfect design

but I hated her more, than ever before

when your hand was in hers and not mine.

For you Dad, I was the best I could be

strong, brave, tough, but that wasn't enough

'cause I saw you leaving, without me.

What you did then cannot be undone

To my dismay, you and her ran away

you did this all to your own son.

You left me in the hands of pure hate

Those men back at the school, so bitter, so cruel

And you knew about me, the monster they would create

They changed me right down to each bone

My blood, my voice, I had no choice

I am new, different, mystery – unknown.

I felt pain, rage, anger, and fear,

and hate that felt so bad, hate I didn't know I had

hate that filled each heartbeat, froze each little tear

I hate myself now, I must confess

as now it is clearer, when I look in the mirror

all that's left of me is a mess

What they did, you weren't there to see

now I ask out loud, are you proud

to know that you helped to destroy me?

You made me realise in a painful way

that you didn't love me too, like I always loved you

and I couldn't, just couldn't make you stay.

The wolf DNA in my blood makes me stronger

I love to kill and fight, I don't care if it's not right

I won't listen to you, as you are my father no longer.

What you did Dad was just so unfair

The sadness took control, it seared my soul

And my heart is now damaged beyond repair

I envied max and I hated max, but I loved her alot

I picked petals of a daisy, driving myself crazy

Which one; I love her? I love her not?

What happened next? I still don't understand

Why you came back after those two years, to wipe my tears

And once again, to hold my hand.

And Max was still alive but not with you and me.

I wish she would leave us alone, so we could be on our own.

But then I realised it was it was _you _that would not let _Max_ be.

You said you were sorry and I believed what you said.

But then I looked into your eyes, and saw more lies.

And I didn't care, I just wanted Max dead.

But then suddenly after years and years

Of hate and pain, aimed at each other again and again

_She_ set my mind free and banished my tears.

The feelings I felt for her were completely new.

It was feeling that she cared, and knowing that we shared

Another feeling – the same hatred for you.

Pain, hatred, a desire to kill

A set fate, an expiration date

You don't know what it's like and you never will.

What did I do wrong dad, just what did I do?

I don't understand you still, and I guess I never will

I'm confused to even stand here and look at you.

Now my death is really near

It clouds my mind, my thoughts begin to unwind

Nothingness and pain are the only things that are clear.

My life was filled with pain, and hurt and fear and hate.

I hope _you_ survive, and live and long and happy life

But remember it's your fault _I_ don't get to see eight.

I can hear Max's voice, but I can't see her face

I can feel her breath, she's scared of my death

I hope I will see her again in a happier place

She's gone now and you are here to say good bye

You whisper in my ear, and I can feel a tear

Well, good. I'm glad I made you cry.

I hope you know just how I feel Dad.


End file.
